WARNING: Please ignore any typos. I am currently writing this at 4 AM and I’m pretty angry.
So I do this really stupid thing of reading Facebook comments. It’s stupid because it really shows me how ignorant people can be. Sometimes I try to ignore the ignorance, but sometimes I just can’t. Sadly, here was a time when I couldn’t ignore it.
Here is the original post. It was originally posted by someone who I do not know, but since one of my friends liked it, it showed up on my news feed.
The moment I saw this I was happy because it’s shows how important consent is and how alcohol makes consent virtually impossible. In case you don’t understand what’s happening, the female is drunk and wants to have sex, but the male is not, so he refuses to have sex with her in her drunken state. Also, throughout the whole movie he was desperately trying to have sex with her, which makes his refusal to have sex with her mainly because she is drunk even more noteworthy. I won’t really explain consent and alcohol because I’m not exactly an expert. So here’s a good video to watch by Laci Green that sums it up pretty nicely.
Sadly, my happiness ended when I looked at the comments.
So please take a minute or two to soak in what this guy is saying. To make it easier let’s call him Idiot 1. For those who are confused by my anger or don’t understand what Idiot 1 is saying. Idiot 1 is basically saying if you’re drunk and have sex while drunk it should not be considered rape, two drunk people having sex is not rape, and compares it to a drunk driver and someone fighting while drunk. First off, the analogy is completely off. A drunk driver made their choice to drive drunk. They did not force someone else to. Second, if both are drunk it DOES NOT guarantee that both are consenting parties to what is happening. Third, IT IS RAPE WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE WHO IS DRUNK BECAUSE YOU DID NOT RECEIVE PROPER CONSENT. Anyways, the replies to his comment only got worse.
To make it easier, I will refer to the idiot that said “this is spot on” as Idiot 2 and the other idiot that said “the victim put there own damn self” as Idiot 3.
So, let’s start with Idiot 2’s argument where he claims alcohol doesn’t affect whether or not a person can say no. Okay let’s say the drunk person can say no, even though alcohol does affect their judgement, and does say no. One, the sober person can assume the drunk person’s judgement is off and actually wants sex. In addition, the other person, whether sober or drunk, can simply continue even though they know the person said no. What does the drunk person do now? Well, they can try to fight the person off because you know they should totally be capable of doing that when they are drunk. But wait! Idiot 2 forgot something about drunk people. Not only is their judgement off but so are their motor skills. If the person can barely walk when they are drunk, how are they going to be able to fight off another person, especially if that person is fully functioning. So this idiotic argument that a drunk person can simply say “no” is not only idiotic, but even if they do they can be ignored, WHICH IS RAPE. This logic that a drunk person is fully capable of saying “no” is not only dumb but also only leads to further complications.
Now onto Idiot 3’s argument where he blames the victim and says they should drink responsibly. If someone wants to drink and get drunk, they should be able to without the worry that someone will rape them. They should not be responsible for someone else deciding to rape. They should not be responsible for someone else failing to see why it is wrong to be taking advantage of a drunk person. So please don’t give me this bs that a drunk person should be responsible for their actions. The SOBER PERSON SHOULD BE RESPONSIBLE AND NOT TAKE ADVANTAGE. Stop blaming the victim and start blaming the rapist. Also, let’s look at it on the flip side where the rapist is the drunk person instead. If the rapist is drunk shouldn’t they BE TAKING RESPONSIBILITIES FOR THEIR ACTIONS AND DRINKING RESPONSIBLY. Well, according to Idiot 3’s logic, yes. So let’s get rid of these stupid double standards.
The reason why I have issues with the above statements is that they add to rape culture, or the “concept in which rape is pervasive and normalized due to societal attitudes about gender and sexuality”. If you agree with any of the above statement YOU ARE ADDING to rape culture. You are letting a rapist believe what he or she or they did is okay and blaming the victim. This needs to end. It is never the victims fault. Consent is necessary at all times. Silence does not mean yes. Alcohol does not mean yes. No does not mean yes. An enthusiastic yes, as Laci Green refers to it as, means yes.
I hope you guys enjoyed what I had to say on this topic! *hugs and kisses*